These Violent Delights: A Novel [Paperback] Nemerever, Micah Paperback – 14 September 2021

I think the majority of queer persons can easily resonate with the emotional roller coaster of the characters. The anger, the control, the secrets. Brilliantly written. One of very few books written in correct English with no grammatical errors.

The spine of the book was a little damaged but everything else was fine.

** These Violent Delights **Micah Nemerever's debut These Violent Delights is a veryyyyy well written book, some twists coming sooo fast, I may have given myself a whiplash..But at the same time, I didn't enjoy reading it the way i thought i would..Let me explain why..🦕Uhmmm... Why?? All I could think about throughout was whyyyyyyy?? Why were they attracted to each other.. They got nothing but unhappiness from their relationship. I am sorry, if someone treats me like that, i am gonna run in the opposite direction preferably after ditching them in the middle of nowhere.. But lets not get carried away.🦕 I don't knw why, their banter and stuff was just sooooo tedious and exhausting, after reading the title, I was not exactly expecting a easy breezy book but this was misery on a whole different level.🦕 I don't knw about Julian they were probably Dickish anyway, but the way Paul treated his family was not something I appreciated, made me unlike him even more..What I loved about the book are also quite a lot :🦕 The twists and thrills kept me on my toes..🦕 The narrative was veryyyyy well thought out as well as raw and real..🦕 The character are sooo well written and dynamic, I feel like i knw them irl..I saw this review in Goodreads somewhere and it perfectly wraps up for me too : while it had bursts of beauty and intrigue, it was not a book i enjoyed enough to rate well..

Have you ever read a book which made you so vulnerable that you felt scared to write it's review? With this book, I felt that. I felt so naked, overwhelmed, dumbfounded & devastated that I couldn't process any possible review for this at first. So I re-read it again, with the hope of getting pushed to review. But guess what, I just got stuck permanently, in this Black-Hole from which I'd never be able to come out any sooner. 𝗦𝗢 𝗢𝗕𝗩𝗜𝗢𝗨𝗦𝗟𝗬 𝗜𝗧'𝗦 𝗠𝗬 𝗗𝗨𝗧𝗬 𝗡𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗢 𝗠𝗔𝗞𝗘 𝗦𝗨𝗥𝗘 𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗬 𝗦𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗟𝗘 𝗦𝗢𝗨𝗟 𝗢𝗙 𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗦 𝗣𝗟𝗔𝗡𝗘𝗧 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗗 𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗦 𝗕𝗢𝗢𝗞 & 𝗔𝗖𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗣𝗔𝗡𝗬 𝗠𝗘 𝗢𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗦 𝗕𝗟𝗔𝗖𝗞-𝗛𝗢𝗟𝗘.The best description I could come up with, after a lot of thoughts, about the book, is Excruciatingly Beautiful. When I started it, without reading the blurb, I never expected I'll come across this much intense yet beautiful things at the same time. It's like a Knife which would come to you, split apart your skin, you'd clearly see blood but before you could feel the pain the language would mesmerize you and you'd definitely feel numb. Because until then, a void would have been created inside you without your knowledge, and that'd surely made you forget how & when to cry. All you'd be left with, was sigh.𝐁𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭. 𝐈𝐭’𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐫—𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐢𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐛𝐚𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞—"It's a slowly intoxicating novel which contains violence, mental illness, subtle cruelty and consuming obsessive love. It's a beautifully written mess. A book which will make you think and haunt you for lifetime even after finishing for 100th time. That's why it's a beautiful Black Hole. But the best thing it'll do is that, it'll voraciously make you think, think and think, it'll make you think about Paul, it'll make you think about Julian, it'll make you think of the society they're living in, it'll make you think about the concept of Normal & Abnormal, it'll make you think about your own insecurities, your own failures, your own mind and so many more."𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧,” 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐥𝐲, “𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐝.”Coming to the characters, never in my life I've read such messed up queer protagonists. But after finishing, when it made me think, I realized that probably there're so many people in the World who were exactly or for sure possessed some of their traits. But from outside we would never be able to tell that. Also, sometimes this claustrophobic society could make a person to a monster too, (every possibility should be accounted )."𝐏𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 ‘𝐬𝐡𝐲’ 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞, 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲?” 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧. 𝐇𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥’𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐧, 𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐟 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐮𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧 𝐮𝐧𝐮𝐬𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐤𝐞𝐲. “𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐳𝐲 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐮𝐩, 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐡𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞𝐫.Paul, self-loathed all the time due to his fears which he tried to replace by anger so that he could touch that societal bar of strong Man and his self esteem was so low that he was tremendously insecured to believe anyone. On the other hand, Julian, was such generously cruel character that he even managed to hide all his emotions from the readers ( because Paul was writing the whole book from his perspectives ). We never got Julian's perspective, though it was certain that Julian was also a disturbed boy because of his claustrophobic, rich, showy family. Though, as a reader we shouldn't rely on Paul's narration too because of how messy he was. Now, as a magnet, both messiness attracted each other. And they both were crazily in love with each other, they could fight the whole world for the other but at the same time they're fighting each other too. Paul & Julian were the only person who could understand each other so well and they hate the rest of the world together. But at the same time they're not good for each other as both of them couldn't trust the other person. None of them believed the other person loved him & just pretended to be how the other person wanted him to be (processed in their own head). Their love was inevitable as well their violence on each other."𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞—𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧—𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐧.”Some scenes would make you believe in their love but at the same time if you read those lines again you'd be able to understand how cruel their love was. The author, beautifully embedded their cruelty in their intimacy.𝐇𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐝 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐦. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐥𝐲, 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭. 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐨 𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧’𝐬 𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐮𝐥𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐡. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐚 𝐟𝐞𝐰 𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐟-𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐜𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧’𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐫, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥’𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦.Writing is so so magnificently beautiful that no matter how many time I say it, it's still won't describe how actually beautifully the book is written. The metaphors the author used, I read it twice thrice because I was so captivated by the fact that how can someone use it like that. It's so poetic and a page turner that I was hooked thoroughly. Every prose every line is so beautiful that even if you don't like reading this kind of intense or disturbing books you'd still feel the butterflies in your stomach to read it a little more. Also big applause to the Author for using a chess match such significantly. My jaws literally dropped after the last scene (THE ENDING, OMG ) and the way the chess described almost everything. At the same time, the way Milgram's experiment was used, I was shook.𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥’𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐊𝐨𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐦 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐝. 𝐇𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐚 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐌𝐫𝐬. 𝐊𝐨𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐠 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐡, 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐬𝐡𝐞’𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐠𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐛𝐲𝐞𝐬. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐊𝐨𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐬, 𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥, 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐬: 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐞𝐱𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐯𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞.Lastly, this is my first queer book which contains such messy characters and such messy dynamic. And I loved it so much that now I want to read more books like this. Also one thing I wanna mention, I'm not a psychology student so I had no idea about what Milgram experiment was, this book gave me the chance to research about it and enrich my knowledge. Also the Leopald Loeb crime case which Author described in Author's note. I got the chance to research about that too. It gave me an opportunity to think about how messy a human could be from their head in real life. Yes I want everyone to read this book so that everyone can enrich their knowledge. And if this is a debut novel then I can't wait for those next Dynamites Author must be nurturing.

Oh these violent delights! Completely blew my mind and made me go weak in the weak in the knees at the same time. Paul and Julian couldn't have been more different but how they found solace in the friendship and in the 1970s discover themselves,their identity and what they are going internally and who they are for each other. The subtle nuances of the care and the closeness is what gets you very much invested in the book. You get to know them together and you get to know them individually in relation to their families and how each of them wish to escape their reality and what makes them these Violent Delights is what the ending completes like a full circle

I read this because Sai (AKA ZanyAnomaly) (see the top review for this book) pushed me to read it. It took me a long time to finish the book because of work and my brain being mush most of the time. But I really enjoyed it.My favourite aspect of the book is definitely the characterizations. The way the author revealed the layers of the characters one by one and showed the complexity and depth was really nice. I love books that totally go into characters and this gave me that.The relationship dynamic was also amazing. It was complex and interesting. At one point, I literally made a relationship dynamic map on Paul and Julian. (It is wrong because, boy, I did not know the truth) I loved how the true dynamic is revealed slowly at the end and leaves us questioning everything we knew.