The Tennis Partner: A Doctor's Story of Friendship and Loss

Abraham Verghese's writing connects the reader so firmly with his characters that, upon waking the day after finishing "The Tennis Partner," the reader wants to pick up the phone to find out what his characters have planned for the day. I felt a similar connection to the characters of Verghese's wonderful book, "Cutting for Stone." The secondary theme of "The Tennis Partner" is Verghese's finesse as a doctor of internal medicine, primarily because of his amazing intuitive abilities and emotional intelligence. The stories of his patients and his care for them are educational and heartwarming. But for me, the primary missives of the book were: 1) Deep interpersonal relationships can be incredibly rewarding and help one progress through difficult times (e.g., Verghese's family issues, David's attempts to stay sober). But they can also be very painful, particularly if one's expectations for the other person are unreasonable (see below). 2) No matter how much you love someone, you can't save him/her from himself/herself; and, most important, 3) Addiction recovery programs (Narcotics Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous, and the Talbott-Marsh Recovery Center) failed David, not because he didn't attend A.A. or N.A. meetings frequently enough or stay long enough at Talbott-Marsh. They failed, as they have millions of other addicts, because their success criteria are ridiculously irresponsible, applauding only the symptom--the ability to stay sober or off drugs--rather than emotional sobriety--the identification of, and attempt to relinquish (or at least minimize) the toxic beliefs and/or behaviors that led to the addiction. Steps 4 and 10 of AA's Twelve Steps recommend a "personal inventory," and A.A. encourages correction of character defects toward adopting a new way of life. But A.A. members are to accomplish these difficult goals without professional help such as concomitant therapy to treat the root of the addiction (see Scientific American "Does Alcoholics Anonymous work" May 2011). One of A.A.'s Twelve Traditions is "The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking," while a commitment toward attaining emotional sobriety is necessary if the addict wishes to recover completely, to treat his/her loved ones better than he/she did as an addict, as well as to confront and to attempt to slay the beliefs and behaviors that led to the addiction. Complete recovery, however, may never be possible, if the cause for the addiction is years of emotional abuse, as in David's case (see below). The feeling of inadequacy resides as an emotion in the limbic system, which Verghese discusses as the root of his olfactory diagnostic capabilities yet fails to recognize as a dominant driver in David's addiction. David's relapses into drug use were triggered by his deep-seated self-loathing, which never diminished despite frequent attendance at N.A. and A.A. meetings, and months at Talbott-Marsh (I apologize for the non sequitur, but if you google "Talbott-Marsh" you'll find eye-opening accounts of patient abuse at Talbott-Marsh and successful lawsuits against the clinic). Verghese never directly implicates David's parents, though in "The Tennis Partner" Acknowledgements, only thanks David's sisters. It's obvious to the reader, however, from David's phone call to his parents Verghese overhears, the message David received from his parents for decades was that he was just not good enough. David's feelings of inadequacy would likely haunt him for the rest of his life, yet his N.A. sponsor, his friend (Verghese), and the chief of his recovery at Talbott-Marsh expect him to simply reject drugs and become a successful doctor. Verghese's emotionally intelligence with his patients was sorely lacking in his feelings for his dear friend David. Verghese and Talbott vetoed David's dream for emergency medicine and instead recommended internal medicine (the reader wonders whether David begins to feel Verghese is treating him as did his father, e.g., "your dream is not good enough, follow mine") because the adrenaline rush provided by E.R. work is too similar to cocaine, David's drug of choice. Yet thousands of "recovered" addicts have simply switched addictions, from alcohol or drugs to, for example, the endorphins of extreme exercise, or to workaholism. Verghese took personally David's expressed hatred for internal medicine. But it's apparent to the reader that David's psyche required daily affirmations about his abilities, which he'd receive from pulling patients from the brink of death, and that he lacked the patience required by an internist to wait for sometimes weeks until his patient is cured. Verghese couldn't understand that and felt that E.R. medicine would be like "walking out in the middle of a movie." No one other than David can be blamed for his failure at sobriety and for his ultimate suicide. But I wonder, since it's unlikely David could have ever entirely silenced the derogatory broken-record in his brain, if he'd be alive today had he been allowed to become an E.R. physician.

I am glad that I read Cutting For Stone before The Tennis Partner. Cutting For Stone sits on my Best Books shelf to be read again in future years, but it is unlikely that I'll read the The Tennis Partner again. Yet, I recommend it as a very good book. I'll share what I liked and what didn't about The Tennis Partner: Here's what I loved about The Tennis Partner: 1) Vergese is honest and open about his humanity, flaws, achievements and wisdoms that are warmly written about in his job, fatherhood, husband and friendships. 2) After growing up in an addictive family environment and surviving in tact (thanks to wonderful help), Verghese's reaction to his friend David's cocaine addition and it's evolution was really accurate and heartbreaking. As a friend and not doctor,Verghese was ignorant of the addictive emotional qualities such as an addict often destroys everything good and loving or an addict's persuit of sexual conquests ~ all are common characteristics of an addict. The hopes, support and crushing disappointment Verghese experiences with David represents many of us who have loved an addict while getting a painful lesson in letting go. 3)Verghese is a master at scene setting and descriptive writing. I wanted to meet his boys, his first wife and obviously a second wife. In short,Verghese's effective writing ability had me caring for them. Here's what I didn't like: Yes, Verghese is very good at scene setting and plotting a very interesting memoir. BUT, the tennis scenes were too long and I found myself skipping those pages in the latter part of the book. I think the book would have been tighter and a bit shorter had the tennis scenes been selectively condensed. Instead, I would have been more interested in reading about Verghese's reaction and participation in the final two chapters (I don't want to spoil the ending for other readers). While good reading, the last chapters came together very quickly and I missed Verghese when I closed the book.

A beautifully written, and honest, book by a masterful writer. That’s why I give it a 5. The individuals so finely depicted, yet never fully knowable. It wrung tears from me, which I know many readers do not want to experience right now. So, maybe put it on a To Read list for the future.

The book tells the story of two doctors at a Texas Hospital and how their lives are intertwined between tennis,medicine and their personal struggles. David Smith is an Australian intern at the hospital where Dr Verghese is the senior doctor in the Internal Medicine department. David is a recovering drug addict who has gone through rehab .Dr Verghese is having his own personal separation issues with his wife. They find comfort in their friendship on the tennis court where David is skilled and helps Verghese in learning the finer points of the game. Dr Verghese helps David in learning the ropes in patient care and diagnosis. In the last chapter the author reveals how differently people deal with the loneliness that comes with the success in a doctor’s life.

tidy book arrived promptly, good value, an interesting read. I wanted to read more Abraham Verghhese because cutting for stone is so brilliant, this one was different, and not quite so much for me as I know nothing about tennis (there are a lot of detailed match descriptions} but I am glad I read it, He is an excellent writer I hope he produces more, overall I reccomend it.

Abraham Verghese is a doctor specializing in internal medicine and pulmonary and infectious diseases. He is doing well professionally but his marriage is falling apart. He decides to make a change by moving to El Paso where he becomes a staff member at the Texas Tech School of Medicine. David Smith is a medical student recovering from a drug addiction. He comes to Texas on a tennis scholarshp and played on the pro tour before enrolling in medical school. David has had several relapses and one in particular. While doing rounds he is having a difficult time fulfilling his duties. He heads for a doctor's office to explain his present situation, but the doctor doesn't need to have an explanation, he instantly knows David's problem. David is then taken to the Lab for testing and the doctor himself takes David, still in his scrubs, to the airport. He gives him two tickets and makes sure he boards the plane. He is heading for the Talbott-Marsh clinic in Atlanta, a facility that specializes in drug and alcohol addiction and is designed for physicians. He is met by two men who bring David directly to the clinic. David attends a meeting with other doctors of various specialties,who suffer from addiction as well. He is told at his first meeting that he has a disease,like Diabetes and every day for the rest of his life needs to be monitored and be treated. The Doctor goes on to say, "that society does not understand that you have a disease. Instead you see yourself as morally flawed. Now that you've been caught, you feel shame". When he returns to El Paso, David meets up with Abraham. Both are alone and struggling in their personal lives, but they both share a love for Tennis and thus a friendship is formed. Tennis becomes a ritual and they play twice a week. Between rounds of tennis and after chats at a cafe, David opens up to Abraham. Along the way there are clues that Abraham can see, which point to the beginning of trouble. Dr. Verghese is searching for answers re his dear friend's addiction. He has done considerable research on addiction and comes up empty. For Abraham, this is frustrating and he can't understand how in some minds treatment can help , while in others treatment does not help. The book is open, honest and detailed. It is written eloquently. It is a story of a deep Love and Friendship of two men, made even stronger by their mutual interest in Medicine and a love of Tennis. Dr. Verghese is a gifted writer whose Memoir is Memorable.

Fantastic book. One that I didn't want to finish. This is beautifully written story of friendship and regret. I slow unfolding that drew me into the story. A autobiographical piece with two main characters that were both interesting and vulnerable. Very good. Can't wait to read for Abraham Verghese. If I could give it 10 stars I would!

In my opinion Abraham Verghese is one of the best and most thoughtful writers working today. This book is an exposition of a drug addict...not a pleasant story, but a gripping one. It should be read by anyone who has the misfortune to have a drug addict in the circle of acquaintances. He writes with an acute intelligence and a mastery of the language. I love his stuff.