The Joy of Missing Out: The Art of Self-Restraint in an Age of Excess Paperback – March 18, 2019

I plan to delete my Facebook account and limit myself to 15 min a day just on Instagram as a result of reading this book. I have read all of Brinkmann's brief and to-the-point books and I love all of them. Actionable advice, not just a bunch of abstract and unrealistic moral philosophies. Hello to JOMO and goodbye to FOMO!

Please read above for this review.

Judging by the first 20 or 30 pages, I thought this would be a 5 star book. The writing is elegant, beautiful, and thoughtful. Everything from the font to the paper to the cover is excellent. The premise is good. You might think clocking in at less than 100 pages would be a problem but no, I think this author could indeed make a great eloquent point in less than 100 pages, and that's initially what he sets out to do. However...I understand the author has a background in philosophy and psychology. Fair enough. But if I want a book about the psychological advantage of missing out with lots of quotes there are other books dancing around the subject ("Rest: Why You Get More Done When You Work Less" and "How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy" come to mind).What I wanted was a book of PHILOSPHY about WHY it's a good idea to show self-restraint. And indeed, the book starts out that way. But then the author quicklly goes off on this Kierkegaard tangent over and over again that doesn't particularly support what he is talking about. There are other references and quotes (and some bad poetry) but these are shaky evidence at best and a ridiculous stretch at worst (very open to interpretation).I wish the author had just built a PHILOSOPHICAL argument based on logic rather than relying on dead philosophers and bad poetry to (sort of) make his points for him. This isn't investigative reporting. Referencing other people's work is not needed.I admire this author and will keep reading his books because I think he has something important to say and a beautiful way to say it, when he stops fawning over Kierkegaard and states his own mind powerfully and directly. Unfortunately this book ISN'T it. I'll keep looking.

A lovely and concise examination of simplicity, humility, and moderation. As a late-middle-aged person, it’s important to be able to draw a circle around what qualifies as “enough.” Brinkmann provides a brief of ideas to base the pursuit of the simple life, and a guide to further exploration.

Little and easy to carry. Love hard cover.

The Joy of Missing Out: The Art of Self-Restraint in an Age of Excess 1st Edition by Danish psychology professor Svend Brinkmann is a meditation on “making a virtue of necessity and practising the art of missing out.” For many Americans who believe more is better, reading Brinkmann’s book will be like a slap in the face or a cold water shower, an unpleasant, but perhaps necessary experience. Brinkmann thinks, and I agree, that the more is better mind set has brought us to the brink of disaster with problems like global warming. Scaling back, learning how to live with less may well be the lesson we need to learn in the 21st Century. Brinkmann says, “If no one is willing to give up anything, then life becomes a struggle between individuals to rake in as much as they can for themselves, and that only affords freedom to the very strongest.” I add freedom to the very richest, the 1% in America who “now control 38.6% of the nation’s wealth, a historic high, according to a new Federal Reserve Report.” What are the chances that this 1% will decide to do with less? I leave that for my readers to answer.Brinkmann thinks that when we are told that we can’t always get what we want, we should respond, “And a good thing, too!” The major argument in his book is that we have been taught since childhood to want all the wrong things – a house in the suburbs with a three car garage, a Mercedes or Lexus, perhaps both, to take us to our vacation home on Cape Cod, membership at the country club, and all the other accouterments of wealth and power. “What’s wrong with that?” I hear some of my readers asking. My answer is, perhaps nothing, and for giving that answer I demonstrate that I am just the person Brinkmann wants to reach with his message learned from his favorite Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard. “Purity of heart may sound pompous and alien to modern ears, as we are accustomed to looking outside ourselves to find direction in life and the meaning of things….” Instead of many things, Brinkmann wants us to find the one thing that has meaning and value for us and that does not depend on money to acquire it. Brinkmann agrees that “The unexamined life is not worth living.” From start to finish Brinkmann’s book asks us to examine our lives and we may possibly learn that doing with less is one way to find what is genuinely important to us.One way to discover what is important to us is to keep a journal. Like many readers of this review, I have a journal, but often look at the blank page wondering what to say. Brinkmann suggests that we tell our story in our journal and then take some time to interpret what we have said and in this way “endow our existence with meaning and form.” We are encouraged to think of our life as a work of art. Again, more is not necessarily better. Brinkmann encourages us to cooperate, share, and build community instead of competing with others to get more for ourselves. This message goes against the competitive nature of our culture in which winning is everything. “Show me a good loser and I’ll show you a loser,” said cultural icon Vince Lombardi. American children are taught this lesson at an early age and it stays with them all their lives.Brinkmann says at the end of his book, “I hope that the ideas contained in this book will inspire others to engage in constructive debates about missing out, and to respect the concept of moderation in general.” These ideas won’t be easily accepted by Americans who believe like Lombardi that “Winning isn’t everything; it’s the only thing.” Long ago our own Henry David Thoreau went out to Walden Pond and did what Brinkmann suggests, he lived close to nature on next to nothing and discovered what Brinkmann agrees with. “The mass of men live lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation.” Brinkmann’s book gives us some suggestions for how to reclaim our desperate lives and again, as Thoreau tells us, “Simplify, simplify, simplify.” Can less be more? Everything in Brinkmann’s book answers this question with a resounding “Yes!”

I heartily agree with author Svend Brindmann's ideas; however, to my surprise, I had a hard time getting through to the end. Brindmann is so right in his opinion that in so many areas of life, we are overwhelmed with too much - too much stuff, too many options, too much physical and mental clutter - and we are actually better off with less. However, the wordiness of the writing, I was a bit waylaid by the intense criticism of so many aspects of life that we take for granted or may even find uplifting, without a convincing image of a better way of living. To me, the overall effect was kind of depressing - I guess I am a victim of the kind of world view that he is criticizing. This surprised me, since, as I said, I am very much in agreement with him about his basic premise. Brindmann is obviously highly qualified, astute, and articulate, and may speak more to others like himself. Recommended to those who enjoy a good argument.

Its narrative is a bit dry but an easy read.

In this short book Danish psychologist Svend Brinkmann argues that 'not only is there a political imperative to the art of self-restraint, there is also an existential depth, an ethical potential, a psychological benefit and an aesthetic quality to missing out'. Each of the book's five chapters explores each of these aspects in more depth. By 'missing out' Brinkmann is referring to a wide-range of things including consumerism, constant work and efforts at personal development, trying to have as many experiences as possible, and more trivial things such as screen time and engagement with social media.I personally would have liked more concrete examples of the things we can miss out on; however, this will be different for different people and the book is more focussed on cultivating a particular mindset and philosophy which most importantly focuses on how the individual is part of a community and how there is an imperative to think about how our actions might work towards improving the community as a whole. Brinkmann is aware that his philosophy might be accused of elitism (i.e. only those who are already privileged and comfortably off have the resources to miss out in the first place). However, he counters this objection in a humane and clearly-argued first chapter.All in all this felt like a very brief survey with many references to Brinkmann's other books, "Stand Firm” and “Standpoints”. However, it makes some compelling points and provides calm sustenance for those thinking about how to live well and with integrity in this world.

This is a very important subject to address in these times of constant change, upgrades and competition. It is so easy to get hooked into what used to be called 'keeping up with the Joneses' but has now gone into very expensive orbit - both financially and personally. This is an interesting and entertaining book that is very clear and up to date in the way the author addresses the issues and the life choices many of us face all the time - both their rationale and consequences. The points are very well made and discussed. I really enjoyed reading it and have shared it with my adult children.. Lots of food for thought for them as they are still in the middle of all the drama of life where all this stuff looms large in importance..

The author emphasises the virtue of simple living and moderation, and the problem of hedonic treadmill—continually wanting more. He promotes the pleasure of disengagement, and the culty need for never-ending improvement. This is more true with the continual checking of our phones. It’s short book and an easy read—the key messages are summed up concisely in the final chapter. This will go down well with Maria Kondo fans, minimalists and stoics.

I really wanted to like The Joy of Missing Out, particularly as it's quite a short read at under 100 pages.I agree with the author's main argument that it would be better for us all if we engaged in more moderation. Rampant consumer culture is not good for us as individuals or as a society. Unfortunately, the author's arguments are not particularly strong or convincing.I also found myself wishing the author gave some concrete examples or even case studies which described how self-restraint and moderation might be applied in practice. This book felt a little too academic and theory-based for me.I would have loved to have seen some examples or case studies of people living in alignment with justice, truth and beauty, or Stoic ideals.My favourite part of the book is where the author has a little dig at Donald Trump, who is possibly the world's least moderate leader in many respects.My least favourite part of this book is the second chapter, which looks into the existential philosophy of moderation. I think of myself as being reasonably intelligent, but Kierkegaard's arguments seemed mostly nonsensical to me.Overall, I felt this book had a lot of potential, but it just wasn't particularly convincing. At least it didn't take long to read.