If I'm So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single?: Ten Strategies That Will Change Your Love Life Forever MP3 CD – MP3 Audio, May 15, 2012

First off, since this is a book about dating, it would be best for me to explain my situation. I am a 22 year old male philosophy/mathematics student at a university. I have Asperger's syndrome (part of the Autism spectrum) and have never been on a date in my life (no first kiss, no hugs, obviously a virgin, etc). I have been under a lot of stress regarding the subject of relationships because I really do want a long term one that is meaningful and lasts (if I had my way) until the end of time. Unfortunately, I have difficulty communicating with anyone unless I feel pressured that it is a necessity. On top of that, the modern society today puts pressure on men to do all the work when it comes to finding a mate (asking, looking, calling, setting up dates, etc) and the girl gets to pick. This is a product of evolution, but it means that someone like me (with an autism disorder) has not just the deck stacked against them, but also no hands to play cards with.That being said, I picked up the book because the few friends I have are all on the internet and can't help me. Plus my family has done as much as they can. I've been to consoling but ASD (autism spectrum disorder) isn't like a psychological problem that you can deal with and move on. So a book like this seemed like the ideal thing to look into (I have learned how to function as best I can today from philosophy texts, I figured this might help me take a step forward). When the book showed up I cleared it in under 36 hours.Now my problem with the book is simple: The title is ambiguous. Now I found a lot of information that is helpful for my current situation, some stuff that isn't helpful in general, but I found that most of it is really just information that I need to know after I am already in the "dating scene". So I will be more specific with these categories:Stuff I found helpful: Chapter 2, 3, and 4 did offer a lot of useful advice for someone like me (who has essentially never talked to a girl). Chapter 2 is something I really get: Ignore dreadful statistics (like how men on dating sites, where I would function best, vastly outnumber women. How the chances of finding someone I like is low and the chances they like me is lower... not even including if we are compatible). Chapter 3 is essentially trying to convince you that your excuses for saying "there are no good ways to meet people" are false. Unfortunately it doesn't consider someone with psychological impairments like ASD. I literally cannot just "go to events". I just can't. So while many of my other excuses I could understand as being somewhat superfluous, it doesn't help my position much. Chapter 4 was essentially saying to keep your standards high. I really like this, simply because I don't really have many things that I think are "musts" in a woman but it does convince me that it would be a bad idea to compromise on some of them (for me, women who don't wear jewelry are several orders of magnitude more attractive than "supermodels" who do. What many men consider to be a "5/10" I often find to be a "9/10", using the very subjective and cheesy system that guys frequently use. Chapter 10 was also somewhat useful in the sense that it is essentially trying to convince me to increase my self-esteem. I don't know how high I could keep my self esteem in my situation, so I will see how that turns out.Some stuff I didn't find helpful: This is a little less broad, simply because I am being nit-picky. Obviously I don't like the title because it seems to imply that the book is entirely how to take you from being single to not being single. Instead, a huge chunk of the book is for people who are already in a relationship! Chapter 5 and 9 are about how to say "no" and "yes" to relationships. This is useless for me because my problem is GETTING a relationship. Chapter 6, 7, and 8 are about pseudo-intimacy, commitmentphobia, and intimacy gaps (respectively). Again, not helpful to someone in my position. Chapter 11 has a couple useful bits of information here and there, but was also mostly about STDs and such. Ironically, I wish STDs were something I had to worry about. They aren't because I need help with getting into a relationship! The last chapter (12) is bogged down by something that should be a separate chapter: support groups for singles. While this would be nice and all, the author even shows why they are sometimes not a good thing. On top of that, this book is generally aimed for people above the age of 30 -though most of it is universal-, meaning that many of these kinds of support groups are for people who are not in my age group. Perhaps there is a group like this on campus, but I can't help but return to ASD and it preventing me from doing anything social.I think the name of the book is ambiguous. The subtitle makes for a better title simply because it shows that the book isn't about finding a relationship but about finding the "right" relationship. Someone like me, who functions independent of society, needs help getting to that point to begin with. So I gave the book a 4/5 because I am glad I read it. Most of the information I don't need now will be useful in the future. However, it was not what I was expecting because what I need needs to be more along the lines of, "How to get into dating while having ASD".Hopefully this review helps!

When I first read "If I Am So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single?" I was more impressed with it and in fact recommended it to a few clients (the title does a tremendous disservice to the book as certain people - especially men - feel uncomfortable purchasing a book with this title or having anyone see it in their apartments). On the positive side, I liked that the author has a Master's of Divinity and that she takes a very thoughtful, intellectual approach to the topic. However, since I have read "If I'm So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single?" I have read numerous other books on dating/love/relationships that I would recommend above this book.That being said, this book has the potential to be very helpful for people who have not done much soul searching and have not really examined the possible reasons why they are still single when they do not want to be (as Page calls them, "involuntary singles"). Indeed, someone who is never satisfied, potentially Type A, who is constantly finding fault/flaws in others while failing to recognize his or her own shortcomings (and the need to work on them) and who has unrealistic expectations could benefit greatly from the introspection this book facilitates. I particularly enjoyed the author's discussions on the trap of pseudo-intimacy, the fears that keep people out of relationships and her advice on how to spot and avoid the commitmentphobes.I agree entirely with the reviewer who commented that the first half of the book is much better than the second half. I was engaged in the book for the first half and my 4 star review is based upon the first portion - the second half is a bit tedious to read and lacking in much value.Marni Galison, President and FounderSunday at Noon Matchmaking and Events

This book is about understanding the failures of singles perception about dating and finding a date. It does a good job, but the book title is slightly misleading, and I'll explain why I think this is. Susan Page walks through a lot of different scenarios about why couples either can not find love or can not maintain it, and throughout all of it, never goes into a whole lot of depth. She stays very broad on each of the topics (I understand depth would be difficult in this subject matter because who can say what someone really feels when you don't know someone). At the very end, she addresses a topic that I think the book's title addresses more directly than any of the single's mispercpetions - anxiety about finding someone to love. That topic at the end was in it of itself a subject of content for another entire book, but Susan dismisses it with something along the lines of "ease of mind comes in time". I think that all singles find that this is a difficult matter to resolve, and it would have helped if Susan had more to offer about this. Other than that, while I don't think the book was written with a psychiatrist/counselor's precision in explaining the failure stereotypes, I think that Susan definitely did a good job with her book.

Its taken me a long time to pick this book up and give it the time it deserves. One useful thing is I quickly discovered I am ambivalent!!!! Can't deny it!!!!But on reading further (and without reading about the author) I thought....this Susan page is American, is religious and probably owns a wedding company! I was right on the first two.If you want a book that tries to condition you into a holier than thou view of relationships and that 'living together' is wrong and we should all be married or celibate. Then this is the book for you! Americans!

This book is a must have for all of those looking for love in this world. The insights given in this book may already occur to you but if they don't or have become clouded in pessimism this book will uplift you and remind you to stay positive. I really enjoyed it.

Well I thought this book sounded rather interesting but I got so bored by page 10, I have given up reading it & I am still single! Happy reading...

Awesome!!!

Great book about intimacy, love and reservations. It has many good observations and many ideas. Also, it challenges you to write down your own observations...