Empty Arms: Coping With Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Death

From experience, Sherokee Ilse created a foresighted text for folks coping with loss, even--amazingly--loss in progress. She verbalizes the commonality and individuality of loss, gently expressing "aloud" the thoughts and emotions one cycles through. It may seem counter-intuitive in the moment, when you're simply struggling to survive the devastating experience, but Ms. Ilse encourages mothers and fathers in the process of actual loss, to savor and honor those moments, respectfully providing suggestions for how to do so. At 22+ weeks I lost my baby, and EMPTY ARMS resonated with depth and precision. As I read it weeks after our loss, I kept thinking how much more we would have benefited from reading this book BEFORE losing our baby, but who seriously considers the possibility of losing a child before experiencing perinatal loss at some level? I recommend this book for the education of anyone planning to have a baby or to anyone who has a loved one planning pregnancy. And I pray that the reader never actually needs the sage advice or solace within its pages.In addition, I recommend the powerful and cathartic visual work THE ANGUISH OF LOSS by Julie Fritsch and Sherokee Ilse: The Anguish of Loss: Visual Expressions of Grief and Sorrow

This is a book that I never planned on reading, until life had other plans. I read this with my wife who is currently in her third trimester, bearing our little boy who most likely not make it long or at all after birth. We read multiple books together to try and prepare as best we could going into the final months. This book was helpful in helping build the foundation we will need. While the book is targeted towards the mother (understandably so) reading it together did bring us closer, be more open, and go through the process together. My wife has not wanted to read a book as quickly as this, so we ended up reading it together hourly on a daily basis. Although we/she cannot be totally prepared for what will happen, this book provided additional guidance in how to deal with the process.

This is a wonderful book for parents who are grieving and those who may want to help those parents. It gives information on all the details that people forget about or don't think about at all. For example, should you take pictures with your baby or just little things like that that make a big difference in the lives of those grieving. I would recommend this book to anyone who is, unfortunately, most likely going to loose their baby and to people who want to help those grieving.

This book is not only wonderfully written it is exactly what my wife and I were looking for in our time of need - Nobody wants to lose a child and losing a child is hard enough but then nobody knows what to do or expect - My wife got this book shortly after our triplets were born and died - We were searching for answers and this book helped with a lot of things - Most importantly it helped our family and freinds know how to grieve with and for us - There is a passage specifically for family and freinds and everyone I sent it to was very appreciative - While I pray that nobody else ever has the need for this book, should you someday have the need , this book is wonderful -

Sherokee (author),I wanted to tell you that of all the multiple books I read on losing a child, yours was the most refreshing for my husband and I both. It was so authentic, so real, and incredibly validating for us. We read your words and wished we had read them 3 yrs sooner closer to the time of our loss. You said things that no other author said, you validated like no other author had. I am so sorry for your losses but I thank God for the glory He had brought through the lives of your children and out of your pain to bring such hope and healing to others walking the same road of suffering.Thank you,Hope Wood

I gave this to my daughter-in-law after she lost my granddaughter when she was 6 mo. pregnant with her. I hope it helps!

This was an amazing book. Loosing my baby recently and having him here on earth got almost 2 months. This book had lots of great information and advice.

A must read for anyone who has lost a child! I bought this for my daughter who had a miscarriage.

The book was in very good condition.Although it is an excellent resource, it really needs to be at your fingertips when such a tragedy arrives.I will now have a copy to share with others who experience such misfortune.

I needed a book like this at this time in my life. I really recommend it to anyone coping with pregnancy or infant loss.