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S**X
a must read for survivors
This book is a must read for all survivors of narcissistic abuse. It will educate you and empower you to heal and thrive! This author has a gift of understanding through experience and the education of a therapist. I’m so glad I found this book!
I**G
Every week felt like a month had passed
This book has been a saving grace for me. I originally discovered it from a google search leading me to one of Ms. Arabi's essay regarding the 20 manipulative tactics used to silence you. I didn't actually even realize my ex (who I was still trying to remain friends with up until 2 weeks ago) was a narcissist. I knew he had bipolar and later found out he was discharged from the military for personality disorder (now I know what that truly means), I thought they were one in the same! I was shocked to discover he fit almost every single criteria of narcissism. While I don't believe he's a malignant narcissist, I do believe he is VERY close to that spectrum. I couldn't understand how a strong and loving woman such as myself kept falling back in with this guy. Every week felt like a month had passed, it was always so chaotic and disorientating. I was ashamed that I couldn't just quit him! Even up until the end it wasn't me that walked away, I was gifted with a 10 minute rant of how I was a terrible person, how I was crazy, how I was undiagnosed with schizophrenia and some sort of rapid thought disorder (whatever that even is) and then blocked from all communication. Before when I was blocked I was devastated, this time I was just over it. Yet days later I wanted him back. This book helped me realize I was actually physically addicted to him, the very words I told my therapist (yes I had to seek out therapy after we first broke up). I guess long story not so short, I'm so very grateful to have discovered this book, it has given me tools to get myself back, realize that what was happening to my mind, my emotions were completely normal and validated. So thank you from the bottom of my heart Ms. Arabi, you have really helped yet another person heal from this devestating abuse.
J**.
Life Changing Validation
This book is one of the most validating and powerful reads I’ve ever experienced. Being abused by narcissists warps your mind in ways that most people don’t comprehend and this book puts that distortion to rest.It’s important to note, the perspective taken mainly speaks of narcissistic partners, but it is also applicable to family members (and other narcissists) as well. Don’t be discouraged by this. While I’ve encountered both, this book helped me tremendously with understanding and navigating life post narcissistic abuse from a family member.Make time and space to try the exercises, they are so helpful in reprogramming your brain from the distortions installed by narcissists.Oh and did I forget, the author’s voice is very powerful and uplifting. She speaks like a warrior, a fighter - more than just survivor. It’s infectious and it’s so inspiring. She more than lives up to her instagram handle!
D**M
If you need a book on this subject - this is the one!
Recommended by therapists. A hard read at times but the truth can hurt. Thank you for sharing your knowledge.
C**M
Learning, growing and moving forward
An amazing book and author. When I first researched Narcissistic Personality Disorder about 8 years ago, little data that could be found in a practical form for the common reader and the research articles were not easily accessible. Arabi brings to the table much experience and deals with the topic on many levels in easy-to-read essays collected together. She covers ever aspect of the topic from different perspectives. Not only have I learned a great deal but my understanding on how to deal with difficult people will be enhanced from reading this book. I have dealt with many family members who have NPD and this is the first author I have read that gives practical reasons on why me and my siblings did not develop the disorder but appear to have grown beyond it. Sadly, I have struggled through two marriages marred by NPD and found this book to be spot-on.My only caveat is not to throw the baby out with the bath water if you are of a Christian faith, especially from a traditional background. I greatly appreciate the information contained within the book and while I may not have agreed with many of the spiritual recommendations, it was easy to skip forward through those brief sections and find other books that dealt with that issue more definitively.
L**N
An excellent read, informative and eye opening
As someone who survived numerous online friendships with toxic narcs and bad friendships, I’d say a lot of this really put words to what I dealt with in perspective and helped me understand that it wasn’t normal. It helped me understand that I’ve been attracting them subconsciously and now I’m learning how to stop it from happening again. Thank you for a wonderful book, Miss/Mrs. Arabi.
L**G
Must have!! to truly understand Malignant Narcissistic Personality DO!!!!
This is extremely helpful in understanding how these people operate so very very differently than anyone else you have ever met. It has helped me understand where and how I grew up and why I am doing battle w a malignant Narcissist Ex. Its changed my perception of the world and everyone I meet. These people are diabolical. And there's such a spectrum of it, I've found myself surrounded by these people, just cuz I've been programmed to put up w more than average crap, a push over, a "sorrier", an "oh I'll get that for ya, no prob", kinda girl. A giver. And they take. And take. And take. Thats till they're done: then you don't even exist. Embarrass them or call them out its the worst thing to do. This is my problem, I hate liars and a damn good debater, its so hard not to put them in their place....cuz they really need to be!!!!
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