On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep Paperback – January 1, 2007

Two couples independently recommended this book to us. Two days after we started the system (reading as fast as we could) our baby slept through the night for the first time. She hasn't slept through every night, of course, but easily > 90%. We started "late" (when she was two months old) since we got the recommendation late. Your mileage may vary, and not every system will work for every baby, but I can tell you unequivocally that it worked for us and has been a life changer. Our baby is so much happier and so are we. Everyone (literally) else I know personally who has used this system reports the same results.I really don't understand all of the negative reviews. Frankly, based on the comments, I'm not sure if many of them have read the book at all because they often make claims about the book which are the opposite of the guidelines it gives. The book goes out of its way to stress that it is not a strict schedule system (it lies somewhere between strict scheduling and demand feeding) and that if your baby is crying for more than a short amount of time, you need to soothe him or her. But, it's also important to understand that not all baby crying is because of a problem (and this is well documented by the AAP).The basic concepts we took away from the book are:1) Scheduled/regular feedings lead to a regulated baby digestion system which leads to happy baby (this is the most important point).2) Make sure every feeding is a full feeding (e.g. don't let your baby fall asleep, periodically burp and re-feed until he or she won't eat any more).3) The ideal cycle is sleep -> feed -> play -> sleep. Keep feeding as far away from sleeping as possible as it gives you the most time for burps to work their way out before the next nap.4) Put your baby to sleep awake so he or she learns that nap time is normal and doesn't immediately cry when he or she wakes up alone.Our baby cries for two minutes max (normally less than 30 seconds) when we put her down (and it's not a fear/pain cry, it's much softer), sleeps for about an hour, wakes (gentle cry lets us know she's up), get a change, eats, and plays for whatever time is left. "Time left" is flexible (less if she gets a little cranky early so we know she's tired, more if she's happy and wide awake), but it's almost clockwork that she sleeps for an hour and is up for 1.5 hours (which purely coincidentally matches the book's guideline of 2.5 hours between feeding starts for babies her age). That's one of the big messages of the book: adjust the ratio of wake and sleep time, but do your best to keep the time between feedings as constant as possible.As far as sleeping through the night, this happened "automatically" after we got her on the schedule. She feeds every 2.5 hours during the day, and the last wake cycle of the day she gets a double feeding (once right away, once towards the end, and her wake time is a little longer). We put her down, turn off the lights (it's the only time there is no light in her room), and she's down for 9-10 hours. This is in complete contrast to before we started the system when she would wake every 2-3 hours to eat 24 hours a day, cry when left alone or even set down briefly, and had lots of gas issues.I really do believe in the basic premise of the book: the most important thing you can do to make your baby happy is to regulate his or her digestion. Pretty much the only thing that makes our baby cry are hunger, over-tiredness, gas pain, and burps. By regulating her eating, her digestion system "learned" to expect a meal every 2.5 hours during "light" and a big gap w/o food during "dark." This regulation led to much, much less gas. Less gas (and paying attention to full feeds) lead to better sleep. Better sleep and no gas made her not fear the crib so if something disturbs her and she does wake during the night (we hear her sometimes making noises but not crying), it's not pain and she just goes back to sleep.

As with just about anything in life, there is controversy over this book. It goes against what most of the 'world' tells you but that doesn't mean it's wrong. I followed this book with my second child (11 weeks old currently) and have had amazing success. I mostly demand fed with my son and it was a nightmare. He didn't start truly sleeping through the night until he was a year old. He never ate consistently, never slept good and I was constantly second guessing myself. When my daughter came around I decided to follow Babywise. What a difference it made!!! My daughter began sleeping about 6 hours a night at 9 weeks. Sometimes she wakes during the night...and that's okay! If she's hungry I feed her and she goes right back to sleep.I think most people take the 'schedule' of this book too much to the letter of the law. They FORCE their child not to eat before the two and a half hour time mark and dismiss that the books says, if the baby is hungry before then, FEED THEM!"As stated, there will be times when you might nurse sooner than 2 1/2 hours, but that should not be the norm. At the other extreme, going longer than 3 1/2 hours in the early weeks can produce too little stimulation for successful lactation." Pg 74 "If your baby shows signs of hunger before 2 1/2 hours- Feed her. Hunger cues and parental assessment, not the clock, determine feedings." Pg 112 "Don't be afraid to add an extra feeding if you think your baby needs it." Pg 118 "If you have a baby who becomes exceptionally and continuously fussy, consider the possibility he is hungry. How is your milk supply? Are you eating right?" Pg 194All throughout this book it talks about if the baby is hungry you need to feed them regardless of what the clock or schedule says. It also says to try not to let this be the normal pattern for your baby. Hunger is always a legitimate reason to feed your baby. That doesn't mean you have to jump to the breast at the first sign of trouble or crying. I think the people who have had babies that are failure to thrive and blame this book didn't truly understand it's principles. The schedule presented in this book is a guideline, not a command. It is a way to help your child learn the correct patterns for feeding, awake time, and yes, even sleep. Babies do not naturally know this pattern, my son certainly didn't, but with gentle guidance they can learn it.This book has made a huge difference in my life and I highly recommend it to others. However, like anything else I read, I take it with a grain of salt and sometimes that means adjusting what is instructed to fit my lifestyle without completely abandoning it. Don't be so quick to dismiss it, nor think it is the final say in parenting. It is merely another tool which offers guidance and direction. Whether or not you choose to follow it is your choice. The goal of this book is to get you, the parent, to assess the situation before making a decision rather than making an emotional choice. It is designed to give you confidence as a parent to know how to respond to your baby's cues correctly and to ease some of the stress and confusion that parenting brings. If you're looking for a simple solution to all your parenting problems, it doesn't exist, but there are ways to help you and your infant learn an easier routine and this book is one of them. Read fully, cautiously, and mull over it's content thoroughly and this book can do wonders for you and your precious little one.