I Am J

Wow, such a beautifully, imaginatively written story! Rich with cultural detail and realistic emotions. As a FTM person myself (who discovered myself and began transition in my late twenties) this gave me such an appreciation for my younger trans folks who are dependent on parents and come from various cultural and religious backgrounds that are very different from my own, and the compounding effect of such intersections. It is also probably one of the best books I've ever read. You have to buy it, regardless who you are, but especially if you are a parent of a trans kid and would like to understand what they might be going through (though keep in mind that everyone is different and this story is only one example of the trans experience.)

It is a rare thing to find a book that truly reflects the transgender experience in a fashion that appeals to young adults. "I Am J" does this, and does it well. There are many autobiographical (non-fiction) books or memoirs that report one individual's experience. This fictional account of a 17 year old FtM transsexual delves deep into this young man's psyche as he struggles with his own awareness, identity, and relationships. Author Cris Beam has drawn upon her years of experience in the transgender community to present a character - J - who represents feelings and experiences of many gender variant teens of both assigned genders. While classmates and family struggle to understand his attitude and behaviors, J is struggling with his awareness of himself. Declaring early in his senior year of high school that he is male, not female, is not a spur of the moment decision; he has known for some time. As with most teens, he is trying to discover who he is as a person and who he will be as an adult. Compounded with that is his anguish over his relationships with his parents and friends; he is trying to express himself while in constant fear of rejection by those he loves. No one who is not transgender can truly understand the emotional stress of accepting oneself and the fear of sharing that knowledge with loved ones. In "I Am J" author Cris Beam has portrayed this superbly.

J has never had the easiest of lives growing up: his best friend – his only friend – will focus more on herself than their friendship, kids in his public New York high school harass him, his parents aren’t a constant presence, and he’s a guy born in a girl’s body. When J’s best friend and crush Melissa turns her back on him, J decides it’s time to start truly becoming the man he wishes people would see him as, whether that means hormone treatment or just truly accepting himself. I am J is a unique, ultra-modern coming-of-age novel whose highlights include a dynamic protagonist set against a vivid, real world with real-world issues. J’s struggle truly became a riveting part of this novel, and the way his struggle to become the gender he desired became a mission that readers came to cheer for when J succeeded and sighed when he had to take a step back. Clearly, the FTM (female-to-male) transition process was well researched, and J’s hopes for his world to accept him as a boy come to represent all the struggles people face for others to accept them. The reader gets to see each stage: the unsure pre-transition J who hides his body with layers of shirts, the J who is sure of his gender and physically projects that to the world (and passes sometimes), and the J who begins the physical alterations of the transition. It gives a nearly complete curve and leaves the reader a bit more informed about the fascinating life. But, luckily, the book didn’t singularly define J by being a transgender person: he’s resilient, loyal, open to learn, and has a big heart. Also, he’s human. His relationships aren’t defined by being good or bad, but go through patches of both, namely with his mother, Melissa, and the friends he meets along the way. Besides the issues it brings up, J’s world is also wonderfully painted simply in terms of the techniques the author uses. J is a multi-racial child, and many of his friends are as he is, so the diversity of New York is explored. As well, J’s rougher neighborhood and life was an interesting choice, and the reader not only got to learn about transgender life but also about a less read area of New York. The dialogue is top notch and completely realistic. There’s swearing, idioms, and just the syntax of the sentences make it so each line could seriously be said by real people, really pushing the story’s credibility. The writing itself was very frank, and the story didn’t leave out bits and pieces because someone might feel uncomfortable. It leaves the reader satisfied by the end, and a bit more empathetic toward the transgender people community. In conclusion, if you are looking for a great piece of fiction including a well-made protagonist and a setting that isn’t as heavily explored, and/or want to dabble into the still-on-the-rare-side LGBTQ fiction, I Am J is a great choice.

What an excellent book! My girlfriend had been looking for something to read and came across I Am J. She couldn't put it down and neither could I. It gave her a lot of insight into how I feel as a transguy. J's journey into and through transition is inspiring. He's a lot like me, too! Now I'm sharing this book with my friends and family. It couldn't have been written better. 5/5 for me!

This man not even being trans himself wrote a book on a Transgender teens experience, and might I say not perfect but damn near close. I literally felt like crying because I could understand how J felt throughout this book. In some ways I envy J the fact that, even though too late, his mother gave him the okay. My family hates this part of me and this book told me to strive forward. Thank you so much.

True to the description. Overall great quality to the book- no damages or marks on or in the book. I am really pleased with the cost and the condition of the book.

Amazing story of a teen wanting to transition. This book helped me to understand more about my ftmn boyfriend and how he feels as well as sees himself. I was so engulfed in the story!

This book had me feeling all kinds of emotions.From being mad at different characters,to being happy,and almost crying.Definitely a great read!

Poor paper quality of cover and inner pages. Cant use for long term. Book is okay but paper is not worth for money

This is not the best piece of literature in the world, but if I had been transgender I would have been very grateful for it. For non trans people it seems to give a good insight.

Great read. Very gripping story. Good researched. So one can really identify with J. It illustrates the difficulties FtM transgender people have to face every day. And can function as a guideline for those who want to transition, but don't know how or where to start. All in all, I see it as an important piece of transgender literature.

Livre très intéressant. A dévorer en une journée. J'adore ce livre pas cher et d'un bon rapport qualité-prix. A recommander.

Because ‘J’ looks like ‘I’ to my tired eyes I took this book at first to be most likely an autobiography, but apparently it isn’t which makes it a work all the more admirable and empathetic. On reading the story of a shy and insecure youngster growing up in a world only slowly adjusting to the hitherto unsuspected revelation that individuals are all different, I can only wonder what psychological torture so many people whose gender is mismatched to their ‘assigned’ sex at birth have been through in the past and still go through, especially in conservative (I.e. primitive-minded) communities. The author has done a fine job in creating a work which highlights and sympathises the struggle of a young, confused and anxious individual born a girl but inside really a boy and his fragile relationships with family and friends alike in this poignant coming-of-age tale. For many years I have lived in a society (Tahiti) where gender fluidity is highly conspicuous and in many forms is quite accepted. But even here there are difficulties, especially for trans-females, finding a role and gaining employment other than in traditionally gender-assigned lower paid positions. After having finished reading I am J, on reflection, I began almost as much to pity those among us who live in a dismal, fixed, binary world. It must be pretty traumatic to learn – if they ever can – that nature, and life, is far more complicated that just ‘male OR female’, ‘black OR white’ or ‘good OR bad’ with no nuances or alternatives and no conduit for transition. Well done, Cris for successfully conveying in fictional form the challenges that face our sclerotic, (hopefully) post-religious societies in allowing all individuals to be what they are, or even just want to be. A great and ultimately uplifting read.