Self Help: This Is Your Chance to Change Your Life

GLOWING... In Self Help: This Is Your Chance to Change Your Life, Gabrielle Bernstein offers a deeply compassionate and accessible guide to healing from within, using the powerful framework of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. This book is a heartfelt invitation to reconnect with the deeper Self—the calm, compassionate, and wise presence within us all—and to build a more loving relationship with the parts of ourselves that have long been misunderstood, exiled, or shamed. With warmth, vulnerability, and spiritual insight, Bernstein shares her personal journey of transformation. She brings to life the IFS concepts of protectors, managers, firefighters, and exiles through her own experiences with addiction, perfectionism, codependency, and self-criticism. What makes this book so moving is not just the psychological framework, but Bernstein’s raw honesty and the grounded spiritual practice she weaves throughout. At the heart of the book is the “four-step check-in process,” a deceptively simple but life-changing tool for turning inward with curiosity, compassion, and care. This method helps readers not only manage triggers but also begin the process of internal healing and integration. Bernstein’s approach is practical, spiritual, and trauma-informed—she emphasizes that deeper trauma work should be done with a trained IFS practitioner, yet empowers readers to begin forming a trusting relationship with their inner world in daily five-minute check-ins. With endorsements from luminaries such as Dr. Richard Schwartz (the founder of IFS), Dr. Wayne Dyer, and Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday, Bernstein’s book emerges as both a personal testimony and a transformational roadmap. It’s especially suited for spiritual seekers who are ready to ground their healing in emotional reality and psychological safety. In a world saturated with self-help platitudes, Self Help stands out by inviting readers into real intimacy with themselves—not just affirmations, but integration. Bernstein doesn’t promise quick fixes; instead, she offers a path to genuine self-leadership and inner peace.

Gabby Bernstein's Self-Help is a masterpiece that showcases her incredible evolution as an author and thought leader. As a longtime follower of her work and a big fan of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, I was deeply impressed by how naturally this book builds on her previous insights. It feels like the most integrated and transformative work she has done yet. The audiobook, in particular, was personal, powerful, and incredibly effective—so much so that I’ve now ordered the hard copy to dive deeper and take notes. IFS therapy is an emerging, evidence-based approach with immense potential, especially as we explore future advancements like psychedelic-assisted therapy. This book is both timeless and essential, offering profound tools to understand, integrate, and harmonize our inner parts. Gabby guides readers toward alignment with their true selves, making this a must-read for anyone looking to deepen their connection with themselves and others. I cannot recommend it enough! -AK

Don’t hesitate to add Self Help to your cart! I’ve been following Gabby for 15 years and I’ve read pretty much all of her books and if you’ve never read a Gabby book start with this one! The way she explains really complex parts of the self that are related to trauma and shame is easy to understand, and the processes and tools in this book are very realistic to implement…because Gabby guides you through very clearly. I’ve been reading this book and putting the principles into practice and I’m seeing results. Today a friend tried to shame me today because he made a reference to a show that I had never watched, and then he rolled his eyes when I didn’t get it. In the past my protector part would have clapped back or gotten so defensive—I took a breath and asked him for more clarity because I didn’t understand what he was talking about. And I spoke up for myself and confidently admitted I had never seen the show and told him rolling his eyes made me feel bad. This is something that in the past, I would’ve gotten really defensive about or pretended that I got the reference or beat myself up about later. Instead I remained in SELF ENERGY! I got a text later from another friend being like “wow you really stuck up for yourself without a tone, which made me realize maybe I can speak up to friends when they are minimizing me.” I told him to get Self Help by Gabby Bernstein. I’m telling you, using the four step check in process, I am able to recognize things for what they are and have compassion for the ways my protectors have tried to protect me in the past. Overtime using this process, Gabby promises that we will start to rewire our neural pathways so that there’s a greater space between stimulus and response with how we react going forward. This book is a game changer. In fact, if you’ve never read a Gabby book start with this because this is where the work is really at because so many times my emotional reactions to things (which I’m learning are my protectors) are what get in the way of me really being me. 2025 is all about self led energy. Gabby explains the tools really well and uses great examples from her own life or lives of other people to show how the work can work. What I particularly love about this book is it has tools and methods that anyone can start to use immediately. I can’t wait to see where my life and my emotional reactions are in three months if I keep putting these tools into practice. This is the type of book that can change your life forever. Once you see yourself as a family of parts, you can heal from there! Trust me, buy it….

This book is easy to read and offers practical, insightful tools—especially around inner child work. It helped me become more compassionate with myself and better understand not only what I’ve been through but also what others might be experiencing. This isn’t a one-time read. While it’s categorized as a self-help book, I believe it’s best explored with the support of a therapist or in a safe, collective healing space. Tapping into hidden trauma or long-buried pain can bring up a lot, and without support, it might lead to retraumatization. I strongly believe in the power of inner healing. We all have the ability to heal ourselves—when we’re willing to reflect, uncover the root causes, and approach it all with self-awareness and self-acceptance.

Gabby is amazing at breaking down the tools to utilize in our everyday lives to make it easier to apply. I know I will be reading this again to dive deeper into healing.

It was a good book. Good read. It helped me there are so many self-help books out there. This is just one of many that I practice and use and helps.

OK but too many personal accounts

If you’re looking for a book that will truly transform the way you relate to yourself, Self-Help by Gabby Bernstein is it! This book has helped me connect with parts of myself I used to ignore—especially my anxious parts—and instead of running from them, I’ve learned to meet them with love, curiosity, and compassion. Gabby’s practices are practical, soulful, and deeply healing. Through her guidance, I’ve been able to check in with myself in a way that feels safe and empowering. One of the biggest revelations for me was realizing that my anxiety wasn’t something to get rid of—it was actually protecting me and teaching me to slow down and relax. That moment alone was life-changing. Her words feel like a warm embrace, reminding us that healing isn’t about fixing ourselves—it’s about coming home to who we truly are. I highly recommend this book to anyone ready to break free from old patterns, embrace self-love, and step into a more peaceful, connected, and confident version of themselves. This book is a gift. Don’t hesitate—read it, live it, and let it change you!